Shopper's Guide•Women's Health
6 things I learned after years of being the 'not tonight' girlfriend
Summary: Not tonight, my stomach hurts. I have an early morning. Can we just cuddle? I had a whole rotation, and for a long time I was sure the problem was me. Here are the six things I wish someone had told me sooner.
Here's all 6 👇
1. I had a whole rotation of excuses
A sore stomach. An early start. Can we just cuddle? Five and a half years into a good relationship, I was rationing it to once a month and calling that normal. This video was the first time I heard someone else run through my exact script.
2. I assumed something was wrong with me
I loved him. I wanted to want it. I'd still have to talk myself into it, and I quietly decided that was just who I was now. It's a lonely conclusion to reach on your own, and it turned out to be the wrong one.
3. Nobody had asked whether it was hormonal
The question that changed it was simple: what if it isn't you, what if it's your hormones? It came from a nurse I followed online, not from anyone in my life. It had never occurred to me that my drive and my hormones were the same conversation.
4. The ingredient with the research is shatavari
Asparagus racemosus, a root used in Ayurvedic practice for women for centuries. SRI-81, a standardized shatavari extract, was studied at 300mg for eight weeks against placebo: overall sexual function and satisfaction scores improved 34.2% from baseline, and sexually related personal distress dropped. That second part mattered to me as much as the first.
Ademola et al., 2026. Clinical research relates to the SRI-81 shatavari extract at 300mg, not to Nello or to this product.
5. I wasn't going to build a supplement cabinet
Shatavari came with two others I kept hearing about: myo-inositol, studied for its role in insulin sensitivity and hormonal health, and rhodiola rosea, an adaptogen traditionally used for stress. Superbalance has all three in one packet I stir into water every day. Zero sugar, about 20 calories.
Myo-inositol: Genazzani et al., 2008 (2g daily, 12 weeks). Research relates to the ingredient, not to Nello or to this product.
6. Give it eight weeks, and read the label
Eight weeks is how long the shatavari research ran, so that's the honest window. Every dose is printed on the panel: SRI-81 shatavari 300mg, myo-inositol 2,000mg, rhodiola rosea 200mg, plus magnesium malate, vitamin C and B6. It's third-party tested, too.
See the full label →
